Boundaries: It’s become a buzz word in our culture. In my role as a therapist, it’s one of the most talked about topics with people. When I’m working with people who are both Queer and come from a Christian context, boundaries with non-affirming people almost always surfaces at some point in our work together.
Read MoreI’m a mental health therapist and I specialize in working with the LGBTQ+ population. And I myself am gay. Without a doubt, one of the most common concerns I hear from clients who come from conservative backgrounds is how to navigate relationships with their non-affirming loved ones.
Read MoreI grew up in a context where “Don’t Say Gay” was the prevailing attitude. Other than a few disparaging comments made about “homosexuality”, the story of Sodom and Gomorrah and the AIDS crisis, the LGBTQ community was barely mentioned. It was that utter lack of presence that communicated volumes to me about who the LGBTQ community is and whether it would be acceptable for me to belong to it.
Read MoreIf you grew up in any mainline denomination or evangelical Christian church and are LGBTQ+, chances are you have experienced church trauma.
Read MoreIf my partner wants to wear makeup and a soft nightgown to bed, I rejoice in their freedom to come to our marriage unashamed and shining in their glory to just simply be. It is a love that I didn't think was possible. It is without pretense. It is the type of love that I wish for everyone.
Read MoreDeconstructing your Christian faith is an experience that more and more Christians all over the world are engaging in and traveling through. It happens for many reasons but the heart is the same, the Christianity they were taught, given and believed in no longer works for their lives.
Read MoreThe biggest thing I want you to remember if a friend or family member comes out to you as LGBTQ is that no matter what your beliefs or feelings are about them being queer is, they just did a really brave thing. The other important thing I want you to realize is that they have honored you and your relationship with them by essentially saying, I want you to know me. They could just as easily continue to not tell you who they really are and eventually choose to be distant from you.
Read MoreThey say planning your wedding is one of the most exciting times of your life. It’s a day that many of us have dreamt of since we were children. A day that is solely about celebrating love and unity. That’s true no matter what your orientation is, LGBTQ, straight, or somewhere in between. When we say yes to marrying someone it’s because we want to spend our lives with that person and as a gay person.
Read MoreThe short answer, or those who like the cliff notes version, No. Ultimately the Bible does not condemn homosexuality. Wait, you want an explanation, don’t you? In that case, here we go! The LGBTQ+ community has been demonized by greater American society for a long time. From the Hays Code enacted in 1934 (which prohibited any sort of same-gender acts in cinema) to the response to the AIDS pandemic in the 1980s and 1990s, the LGBTQ+ community has always been on the marginalized side of things.
Read MoreLife really can be so much more fun when it’s shared with a partner in a healthy relationship, and more often than not, these relationships start from making that decision to wade into the often rough waters of the dating pool. Dating is indeed a difficult topic to fully grasp the do’s and don’ts of for any class of people, let alone a gay Christian, but in our situation as queer people of faith, there are certain unique challenges that we are presented with being active members of both the LGBTQ community and the church at large. Here are five pieces of advice I’ve compiled for someone getting ready to start dating as a gay Christian:
I am so glad you are here. Even though questioning your sexuality can be hard at times, it is also a beautiful, exciting discovery journey. Please be kind to yourself and try to be open to whatever answers you might come across. We’ll talk about some basic steps you can take if you are in the process of questioning your sexuality. Those can help you get some clarity in the jungle of sexualities.
Read MoreHands down, as a therapist, the clients/patients I work with who are in mixed orientation marriages are some of the most courageous folks I know. Their ability to be honest with themselves and yet move forward in a place where there is no script is both inspiring and painful.
Read MoreThis is my workshop from The Reformation Project Conference. The workshop was titled, Why Does Self Acceptance Matter? I focused on themes of internalized homophobia, self acceptance and story.
Read MoreI was one of the keynote speakers at the Together In This event at Eastlake Church. I was asked to share my story of my wife and I trying to find a church as a lesbian Christian couple.
Read MoreWhat about yourself do you just adore? The deep color of your eyes? The natural way you seem to make everyone around you laugh? The repository of Harry Potter trivia you’ve amassed since childhood? Is this question harder to answer than you anticipated?
Read MoreYour worst nightmare has happened. Your child has come out to you. Whether that was 48 hours ago or 4 years ago, but your heart aches with the same intensity it did on day one, when they said the words you prayed you’d never hear
Read MoreEver wonder what a conversation between a conservative Christian and a gay Christian might sound like? In this months podcast I’m doing something a bit different; instead of me doing the interviewing, I’m being interviewed.
Read MoreI was interviewed on a conservative Christian radio station and the show is called, Educate For Life. He asked me lots of questions that non-affirming Christians tend to express to LGBTQ Christians.
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